Mixed Emotion May. . .

5/12/09 4;47AM (When I started this draft to post)

So far May has been filled with mixed emotions and some events – also upcoming events for next month. For the most part my thoughts are happy ones that’s been intertwined with some sad.

For instance earlier this month I was reminded of when I was younger and going to church with my grandparents, while singing that old hymn - “What A Friend We Have In Jesus,” mostly these days we sing current/contemporary songs but I do enjoy singing old hymns once in awhile.

I realize some might not care for it but they sometimes make me teary eyed – happy/sad.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry, ev'rything to God in Prayer.
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, ev'rything to God in Prayer.

And, it’s not just this hymn it’s any that rockets be back to the Church of Christ. I have so many fond memories of when my brother and I attended; with no surprise to me that I feel as I do when I hear the old hymns. All the songs were sung 'A capella' (without instruments) it was beautiful, my grandpa sure loved to sing; and sang everywhere! Then at church I started thinking of a little black pocket Bible.

I haven’t thought of it in quite some time maybe it was that my birthday was coming up – and you might ask what did that have to do with anything. I’ll explain why. This little pocket Bible I believed belonged to my grandpa Baker. I don’t know how I came to acquired it, I had it for many years and I’m sad to say I know longer have it with me. I sure remember it though; it was a New Testament Bible, black and I think possibly leather bond with a small emblem of silver or gold on the bottom right corner. The most important part to me and where my birthday comes (and I should add my brothers also – since we were born on the same day 4 years apart) into play is at the back of the book was a page with a prayer of commitment. You could fill in the blanks as you prayed. Giving his life to the Lord on May 10, 1958 and signed at the bottom of the page was Lawrence David Baker, my grandpa – and on my first birthday. Not knowing it then but what an awesome gift to me(us) and to be able to see him again one day is an added bonus.

It's something how one memory can lead to so many more, whether it may be happy or sad. Like in the song we might be holding on to sad things in our lives. For interest:

The old hymn was written in 1855 by Joseph Scriven (b.1820-d.1886) and was orig­in­al­ly published anonymously; Scriv­en did not re­ceive full cred­it for writing it for nearly 30 years. It was said that Scriv­en wrote it as a poem to provide com­fort to his mo­ther in her time of special sorrow and hardship; not intending anyone else should see it. The world has surly been blessed with its comforting words, I know I've been blessed by it. I also read that the author was too, as he had times of sorrow and grief in his life as well.

Our family has faced many sad events in our time and of most recent was having to say good-bye (for now) to a deeply loved family member. My husband's (Jim) step-father (his name is also Jim) died earlier this month; he had been fighting cancer for quite awhile. He was the one who raised my husband his role model for life, and the one whom he had always referred to has his Dad. We'll miss him dearly, we didn't want him to go, but knowing how much he loved the Lord, we know where he is. 

Last week I saw a book in a Christian book store about death and how it’s not the end of one's life, as so many want to believe. I know a number of people that believe this way -- that when they die they are "just no more," they cease to exist. Jim said that "it's what they're hoping for, because they don't want to face the reality of heaven or hell."

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the assurance that when your time comes you know you will be in a much better - a most wonderful - place called heaven? To be able to be reunited with those you miss and love again. You might be thinking that it's not so - - but how do you know? What if there truly is such a place, you surely wouldn't what to miss it. Would you?

I don't have a little New Testament to give you with a fill in the blank page. You really don't need it anyway.

Jesus say's "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." Rev 3:20

This verse reminds me of another memory. When my eldest son was around 3 years old we were setting on our living room, I was watching some minister on TV and he read this verse never saying what it was about. My son said to me, “Mommy, Jesus is knocking at my door.” I replied, “He is.” Then asked him where his door was and he replied pointing to his chest, “In My heart!”

Jesus doesn't ask, nor expect, you to put on any special clothes, or to bring out the best china and silver for dinner. He doesn't even ask what's for dinner, he just wants to sit down and break bread with you, just as you are. Why? Because He loves you just as you are, He wants to be your friend; why not open the door and dine with Him?

O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry, ev'rything to God in Prayer.

Sometimes I do hold on to things that I shouldn’t as I’m sure you do, and it eats at you. Then I’m reminded I do have someone to take things to. He is Faithful. He has blessed me this month so far more than you know and in the most wonderful ways. We aren’t even through this month.

Next month we’ll be celebrating our son getting married. We won’t have family there just us and his brothers - it’s too far and I’m sure it’s costly. But, I’ll be breaking out the tissue and recording another memory for my thoughts to hold dear and to share.

My birthday was on Mother’s Day this year - I have three blessing I always hold dear.

~

Fast forward to today this morning 17 years later I am finishing this draft I believe just might have ben meant for today. 

Same sentiment and holiday / birthday combined. You could say still a mixed emotion May, with good memories and blessing mixed with sad. Somethings didn't work out as we hoped over the years - but isn't that how it is sometimes. God brought me/us through it all and will continue. We have suffered losses, and loved ones over the years, we've also been blessed living through good times and bad - let's be honest. But God by his grace has blessed this family - I do believe what Paul wrote years ago "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." 

O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry, ev'rything to God in Prayer.

How truth this is why would you want to make things harder on yourself than what you may experience in this temporary life? Let go.  .  .  I love how my pastor shares and one phrase I shared myself recently, "the things we should remember we forget and the things we should forget we remember."  

I glad I saw this drafted that need posting - wow 17 years gone by, the memory of my mom's dad and his little black pocket Bible. I'm also holding on to this verse:

"Sir, what must I do to be saved?" And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." Acts 16:30-31 

I hope all mom's everywhere had a blessed mom's day, believing for you and your family, God's grace is everything it's sufficient - trust Him for the out whatever you might have on your plate today - and if He's knocking at your door, my at the time 3 year old said where that door is at. ♡

I wished I had one of my grandpa's recording of him singing - I still hear him in my memories and I'll hear him again. Amen ~

Years Ago,

my husband and I spent quite a bit of time in doctor appointments, of course that grew into more frequent over the years.  At the time we were always hopeful his condition would improve.  One day we went to an appointment, and it was one of those times where you were starting to wonder about everything in life, your life. Not that I didn't believe God to be all that is spoken of in His word and we certainly were going through many trails and testing - we had faith that God would sustain us in this life and be there.  My laughter though seemed to have gone on some vacation and humor was becoming few and far between.  To be honest here many years later I have glimmers of what was with old humor that may come in bits and pieces or what I've written down.

The important thing is to keep laughing - God is good and He gave us all a sense of humor we often overlook for whatever reason.   I had to smile when thinking of this as a post though, it didn't come to me from memory I happened to be looking at a little silver notebook and in there was written many things as well as that one day waiting at Jim's doctor's appointment that had a bit of humor - a funny for me.  .  .  .

From my little notebook ~

Monday Oct 5 - 12:45 Jim has a doc appt. 

So, we get to the building the doctor's office is in and just beyond entering - straight ahead is the elevator. And an elderly lady was sitting with a walker in between the entrance and the elevator against the wall. When we got to the elevator she said to us, "the elevator isn't working." I commented I guess they just didn't get it fixed. I'm not sure why I said that, but I recall it wasn't working well the last time we were there. So, we went down the hall and found the stairs. The building had only two floors which was good - so into the doctors we went and sat in the waiting area. As we sat there, I was thinking out loud, "what if the elevator wasn't broke. What if the elderly lady made a mistake or just made it up to see how many would fall for it." Jim looked at me asking, "and why would she do that?" Smiling I said, "Old people get bored too." We had to laugh.  Later on, it was confirmed it was broken. However, I still think if the other had been true I wouldn't have been upset - though a couple flights of stairs were tough for Jim at the time. 

It would have been funny if she did, older people do have a sense of humor also it's just sometimes overlooked.

from memory

This was a good memory and reminder for me. My dad is ninety-two and I get so busy caring for thisand that - and when I'm too busy, I can misconstrue what my dad is saying not realizing his being funny. 

God can and will take burdens that we do put on to much. Jesus himself - Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:29-30 ESV

and as the psalmist tell us of as when the Lord restores Zion in Psalm 126, I would like to believe he'd do the same for us as we give it all to Him and trust Him.

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy . .  .  .  "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us: we are glad. Psalm 16:2-3 ESV (in part)

 

Growing Up at Grams 💗

There are times in a person's life as they grow older that memories of childhood can pop up. If this happens to you, I hope they are all blessed - good memories for you. Today was one of those days for me and as to not let the memory pass, I thought I'd take a short break and post.

When my brother and I went to live with gram I think I was close to seven years of age. Though, my brother was much younger he doesn't remember what I do; I remember having some of my best times and most fun memories there. We were in and out, riding bikes and playing with cousins, spending time at the old farmhouse, enjoying just being kids. When you'd make it back into the house you would smell home cooking. I don't know exactly the family favorite for dinner was, but I would venture to say spaghetti and meatballs was at the top of that list. Gram's go to brand seemed to be Contadina and maybe Hunts, my favorite go to can tomatoes is Cento, hands down and Hunts if they're out of the other.  

This all brings me to my childhood memory I had to smile about. When I was working around the house today, I decided to do a bit of rearranging. I had been keeping a "Christmas/Thanksgiving" cactus in a very large Starbucks mug we bought in Cleveland. Would you believe it bloomed again this Spring! Well, I decided that I would take the already plotted cactus out of the mug and put it somewhere else in doing so what the pot was sitting on in the mug was a large can of Cento tomatoes that I had forgotten about. Then I had to laugh as the memory hit me. 

Taken March

Once placed never removed.

We didn't have the amount of toy kids seem to be embellished with today, so we had to be a bit more creative. I loved playing store, and sometimes my grandad (Pap) would be one of my customers. I set up a pretend checkout area by the couch and have products curtesy of the spinning corner cupboard that had all the canned items needed. Everyone seemed to be buying the canned tomatoes, which I figured my customers were making spaghetti and meatballs. I had a lot of fun and when I was done, I must have placed the "leftover" supply in my pretend warehouse behind the couch and went on about my day. Of course, as time went on it was forgotten about and my gram didn't have a clue since she never came into my store. She shopped at Thorofare just across from Kroger's. Ha-ha Well anyway, she planned on making some "skeddy" as my brother would say and of course, she was out of tomatoes and paste. ;) So, it was put off till she went back shopping, though she was certain she previously bought some!

I'm thinking this happened a couple times in which I had overlooked my warehouse and just grabbed new products from the spinning corner cupboard. Eventually she found my warehouse while she moved the couch out to clean. She might have found the cans sooner if she moved the couch, but that house was NEVER dusty or dirty, never! When she did find them, I heard down the hall WHAT! and run to see what it was all about - When I got there, I'm sure Imade a sheepish face and smiled. The moral to the story, if there were one, is shop local~ ha-ha

Though funny I need to be honest, I thought a time or two I had an extra can myself, now I'll just look in flowerpots. :)

I would love to have a photo of where we shopped, I believe I read they had one hundred stores in PA opening up in 1938 and closed they're stores in 1982. We kids loved going there and we always seemed to get ice cream from Isley's mostly Klondike bars for twenty-five cents.