It isn't far from me
That is my thoughts.
It will dictate my day
It isn't always honest
And, goes by what
I feed it ~
It can dwell upon
the negative
As well as
upon the good.
I can choose
to renew it.
Day by day
it is fed away.
down the road
I choose ~
VLB 6/26/21
To logically look at grief is an interesting thing one experiences. You will have many emotions jumping about and thoughts that are triggered if you will - everywhere. The depth of what one experiences can be in the viscera felt deep within into the depths of your organs. It is something that one cannot quite put into words, the loss felt deep within. The gift of loving with all the blessings and the heartfelt sadness within the depths of oneself in grief ~ VLB 6/26/21
It is but a season
We find ourselves today.
Seeds drop
And life begins
A flower forms
And fades away
Yet to die again.
But not without
dropping seeds.
VLB 6/26/21
I laughed yesterday telling a friend that my mind was busy the night before - back and worth - yet again with thoughts. As if having a conversation in my head of what I would be sharing in our widow's group I've been blessed to helped initiate. I was so tired from working outside that day, all I kept saying was Lord help me remember I'm to tired to get up and write all of this down!
I think like this, my mind is full and much of the time, for the most part I put it down or hold it within my heart to share when a time comes around. :) As I've shared some time back - I have been dubbed "Rambling Vik" Some of which might not mean much to others but thoughts put down in my journal or here that my family can have that is a bit of myself.
Yesterday and I will share in part, I jotted that it was a good day. I find that even if you don't feel like you can muster the strength, try to shift your thoughts - renew what your mind and thoughts feed on. I also jotted down a few quotes I liked for something to ponder.
"We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God." Dietrich Bonhoeffer
There is meaning in every journey that is unknown to the traveler. Dietrich Bonhoeffer
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55;8-9
"I can't begin to comprehend all the ways of the Lord. I can only have confidence in knowing He knows all. What better way than trust in Him who has all things in His control for the best possible outcome. Rest Easy in Him." ~ VB 6/25/2021
I find that the journey I am on with the exception of the loss of my husband I am still on the journey the Lord has placed me years ago. Grief is a extension of that journey I am experiencing to enable my ability to encourage others on their journey. As I have shared with some - the idea that grief should only last a certain time is incorrect. It really depends on the person and the grief they experience as when loosing your mate. The separation of loss felt with missing half of yourself is a real emotion you feel. And, for some it may take a bit longer to heal though to be honest here, you don't stop loving the person or stop missing them - you do heal - cry less and live.
I was listening to a radio show with an interview with Amy Orr-Ewing sharing her book -Where is God in all the suffering? I purchased the book which is a very good read. I re-read a bit on what she wrote about grief -here she had already been sharing about God's love this is the lead into that which I wanted to share:
We have already heard that the Bible speaks of a loving God creating a world within which love is possible, since human beings have been made in his image, but in this chapter I would like us to consider how it prepares us for the cost of that love- grief. The pain of loss is a very particular suffering reserved for anyone that has loved another person who has died. In the human experience of grief, it becomes abundantly clear to us that love is not reducible to a biochemical firing of neurons or to raw animal survival instant. But grief is much more than that. The Bible's account of human beings as god-like creatures given to each other as companions, lovers, friends and family, with the capacity to make deep and sacred attachments of love to each other, reflects the real lived experience of love between people in friendship, parenthood and marriage, and with our siblings. The English novelist and poet Dinah Craik wrote about the power and depth of human connection and friendship in the 1800s, and she describes it beautifully: But oh! the blessings it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort of feeling safe with a person- having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. The joy of deep, unconditional friendship is so simple and yet utterly significant in life- it seems to be a uniquely human gift. Our friendships enrich life, connect us with the past and the present, and for many people, make life worth living. And so when death comes we experience it as more than the decay of physical tissue and basic matter- we experience it as loss. Yes, the loss of physical touch, but more devastatingly, the loss of emotional and sacred connection. Human suffering of this kind is a consequence of love. Amy Orr-Ewing
I know that was long but it is so much of what is experienced in grief. I have read it several times and still cry.
Crying is a HUGE part of healing but:
You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:11-12 ESV
I am thankful for the Lord in my life. Allow the Lord to touch your heart today, open up and let Him in to minister His peace comforting you.
Shalom ~
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